Copy of 48, Newly Married, Stage 0

I found my prince at 46. I married him at 48, across three ceremonies on two continents. We were planning IVF for next year.

And then I was diagnosed with DCIS — stage 0 breast cancer.

The first thing I thought was: why?

I had an answer ready, and it was a confession. I’ve slept badly for years. I let my curious mind run until I drop from exhaustion, every night, for decades. I skipped meals for most of my adult life and then binged cake and fried food at two in the morning when the hunger finally caught up with me. So of course. Of course this is what I get.

Except that isn’t how DCIS works. There are many things that actually drive it ranging from age, family history, hormones, breast density, daily habits, bad luck. I don't have any family history but my 30 years of sleep debt and 2am eating cake habits might have contributed to something even if it was a bit.

Before I met him, I ate twice a day and snacked. My weight stayed down, more or less, but it was creeping. My blood sugar and insulin were drifting toward borderline. Then he arrived, and I absorbed his eating habits — three meals, more alcohol than I’d ever drunk, and I still kept my ferocious snacking habits. I'm not blaming him, but when you fall in love, usually you get into the phase where you get super comfortable and happy, and it's easier to indulge.

But, because he is 13 years younger and athletic, and we have plans to have kids, I felt it was crucial for me to try to aim for a biological age closer to him and a higher quality of life into my 90's and 100's. And so I also started strength training. Three days a week with a trainer, two with a friend. A year and a half later my blood sugar was normal and my insulin had come down. I was thrilled. I told people about it.

What I didn’t look at was my fatty liver, which was getting worse the whole time. That’s the part I keep turning over. I had picked one number, watched it move in the right direction, and decided the story was good. I wasn’t lying to myself exactly. I just wasn’t reading the whole chart. And it wasn't until I learned of my diagnosis, and really dumped my health report into ChatGPT to help me analyze what the most critical factors were, when I realized I still have quite a ways to go.

Early this year, after an ERA procedure, my weight jumped — Christmas, hormones, some of both. That was when I finally changed how I eat, properly this time. Five months in, my body composition started to shift. I could see it. And I was just starting to feel accomplishment that I had conqured the happy fat. And then, right in the middle of that, the news of DCIS.

Sleep was already the next thing on my list. Now it isn’t next, it’s the thing. Better sleep, keep the training, keep the eating. Not because I think it will explain the diagnosis backwards, but because the fatty liver is real and the body I want to bring into the next few years is real.

Here’s the frame that’s helping: when I was thirteen my family moved from Canada to Taiwan and I was put straight into local junior high, most subjects were taught in Mandarin, I had no runway to learn the language. Every single day was a blur. I understood almost nothing and there was no hour where that changed. But every six months or so I’d look up and find I could understand something I couldn’t before.

That’s what this is. The daily view is noise — a scale, a night of sleep, a set. The half-year view is where the progress lives. I don’t get to see it on the timescale I’d like.

I’m going to keep going. It helps to only look at the next milestone and figure out the steps I can do that could lead to some improvement, which are cherishing what I have and fixing bad habits. In some sense, the realization of decline brings out the instinct to survive.

To tally up my 2 year health report card from 2024 - 2026:

• I gained weight

• I improved my metabolic health

• I increased fatty liver

• I broke my elbow (first bone break)

• I got a Virectomy (eye surgery)

• I started strength training (2024.11), eating healthy(2026.03) and improving sleep quality (2026.08)

• I got myself married!

• Made deeper connections with friends and family

• I got diagnosed with DCIS

• I went back to my 2024 weight in 2026, with better body composition

• I can lift double the weights

I am hopeful for what’s next to come.